007| eldest daughters

noun [C]: high achiever, perfectionist, responsible, people pleaser, leader, caregiver, anxious, first lamb

I have been obsessed with the “Birth Order Theory” for a couple of years now. This theory explains how the order in which you are born influences your personality, character, behaviour, or even mental health. This also changes obviously if you are a girl or a boy. In this theory, the firstborn are the responsible ones; they are also high achievers and may be seen as leaders or more wiser than the other children. The middle children are the family’s peacemakers, more sociable and adaptable. The youngest children are the creative ones, and also the charming ones, because they have a more outgoing personality. Nonetheless, if you are born as an only child, you tend to be more mature and intelligent; this type of child shares some traits with firstborns.

However, there are differences in this depending on your genre, as always, because girls are taught differently. I really want to focus on the firstborn’s daughters, the eldest ones. This theory describes the eldest daughter as a high achiever, an extremely perfectionist and an organiser, a big empath, a hyper dedicated and responsible, conscientious person…; all of this leads to having struggles with mental health from a very young age, like anxiety, burnout, or stress. These traits have been put into what they have called “The eldest daughter syndrome”, which is not yet accepted scientifically. Though it does not matter, that is not accepted to be true. I have seen these traits in almost all my friends who are the eldest ones; almost every one of them suffers from anxiety, high achievement, being a people pleaser, or taking care of everybody. If it is not any of that, they struggle to be the most perfect person alive, or to be there for anybody who needs them.

Moreover, I firmly believe that the world is ruled by these eldest daughters and firstborns, due to the fact that they are the rock of society. If there is any problem, I can assure you that an eldest daughter will solve it without any effort or at least without looking like it. Also, they are the one who people run to when they need support or advice on any subject or topic.

But if they are always for other people, who is there for the eldest daughters?. Who is the eldest daughter of the eldest daughter?. Who is that support, rock, or shoulder to cry on for the eldest daughter of the family?. Who is there for them?. For most of the time, the answer is quite simple: they are their own eldest daughter, they stand for themselves, they take care of themselves when no one is doing it, they give themselves advice,e and the list of pros and cons… Despite that, they could be lucky and have a big cousin, mum, aunt, or friend who is also an eldest daughter, and do all of it with them or for them. In some cases, they can even notice when you are struggling and need advice, help, or anything else, even if you cannot speak or talk to another person.

As a firstborn child and also an eldest daughter, who has almost every trait of both things said —the ones from the theory and the ones from the syndrome— I can tell from far who is also a firstborn and also suffers from the eldest daughter syndrome. That is the reason why I will always try to be their eldest daughter in the shadows when they need one. I highly believe that doing this for one and another is part of what they call girlhood.

Consequently, we all need an eldest daughter in our lives, and if you already have the luck of having one, I recommend you take care of her the same way she has taken care of you.

I send you forehead kisses and ‘till I remember to update ✨ xx

Musical recommendation: teenage dream by Olivia Rodrigo.